Blogging for Mom (and the Wife)

A recent conversation:

Mike:    “Mom, if I was a journalist and I wrote a daily column, would you read it?”

Mike’s Mom:    “Of course I would.”

Mike:    “What if I wrote stuff daily somewhere else.”

Mike’s Mom:    “You mean like a blog…?”

Mike:    “Yes mom, like a blog.”

Mike’s Mom:    “I’ve been meaning to read your blog but I can’t find it.”

Mike:    “I saved it in your favorites 3 months ago.”

Mike’s Mom:    “I don’t know how to find that. I need you to save it at the top of the screen like the other sites I visit.”

Mike:    “In your toolbar?”

Mike’s Mom:    “I don’t know what it’s called.”

(5 minutes later) Mike:    “Okay mom, it’s on your toolbar. See right there? The Big Stick.”

Mike’s Mom:    “Is it mostly conservative stuff?”

Mike:    “Yes mom, but I’m slightly less conservative than your other son.”

Mike’s Mom:    “He sounds like Bill O’Riley”

Mike:    “Why yes he does mom.”

Okay, I made the part about Bill O’Riley up, although my brother does sort of sound like him at times. Of course he denies this which makes for hours of good-natured sibling conflict. The point I am trying to convey though is that my mother is finally a regular reader of The Big Stick. So now I know everything I write will be read by her and my wife. If my mother-in-law ever visits regularly that will be a council of three that will keep any man honest. Luckily I am not prone to cursing or x-rated innuendo. I DO however talk about my dog a lot, which seems to bother my wife (jealousy is a terrible thing) and my mom reports that I talk about my dad (her ex-husband) too much. I told her that someone has to talk about the departed and she just rolled her eyes.

So in the interest of pleasing two of my favorite readers, let me state the following:

- My wife is the funniest person I know. She constantly cracks me up even though it is often at my expense.

- My mother is my favorite person to talk TV and movies with.

- I bought an engagement ring for my wife after dating for 4 months because I knew I was never going to do any better than her.

- My mother makes up random rules that Catholics are supposed to follow and assumes I will believe her because she grew up in the pre-Vatican church. She will say things like, “Dogs don’t go to heaven. They go to a place call dogatory and hang out with St.Francis of Assisi because he loved animals.” It is one of her most endearing habits even though I know she is full of baloney.

- My wife  is the only person I’ve ever met who cares about friendships as much as I do.

- My mother never asks for a Christmas list from anyone. She considers gift-giving to be a test of how well she knows people. She has succeeded brilliantly at times and occasionally gone down in flames with comical results.

- My wife let me take her to the gun range for Valentine’s Day, which possibly ranks as the best date I’ve ever been on.

- My mother is a fantastic listener, which is ironic since she is hearing impaired. She’s like a therapist, just letting me dump whatever I need to on her and always seeming to know when I don’t really need any advice, just a place to vent.

- (I will also throw in one for my mother-in-law just in case):  The most ‘motherly’ thing she does for me is to save articles for me from magazines just like my real mother does. It makes me feel loved.

I know that this in no way evens the playing field regarding my posting frequency about the dog and my dear-old dad, but I hope it is a start.