Family Prayer

** While I am out of town a few of my good friends from the blogging world have graciously stepped up and written some guest posts to fill the void.  This post comes from NP at The Coffee-Stained Writer.

There are many references to prayer in the Bible. And anyone who has a relationship with the Lord knows how important prayer is to that relationship. After all, prayer is the way we communicate with the Lord. It’s a way to share how we’re doing, seek help and advice, and take time away from the busyness of life to spend time concentrating on our faith.

For many, prayer is a form of meditation. It allows you to separate yourself from whatever else you have going on in your life so you can sort of center yourself and reconnect with what’s important in your life.

Prayer has always been important to my life. Sometimes I’ll spend a great deal of time praying and studying Scripture, while other times my prayer life consists of a few sentences here and there sprinkled throughout the day. How I pray is dependent on my spiritual needs of the time.

During Lent this year, my husband and I resolved to pray together every night before bed. It was a new experience for us (he is not as open about his faith as I am about mine), and though it started out a little rocky, we really began to enjoy our prayer time together. In fact, our nightly prayers quickly expanded into quick prayers together before Hubby left for work, and anytime one of us was worried or upset or had a prayer request.

In addition to each of us feeling stronger in our individual faith because of our prayer time together, an amazing thing started happening. Our marriage seemed to be strengthening. I started feeling closer to Hubby, and we felt like the time we had together (whether in prayer or not) was more valuable.

I always knew prayer was important for my individual faith life. I knew it was important to bring me closer to the Lord, and to bring me comfort. But until this Lent, I didn’t realize how important it can be to have a regular prayer life with your spouse. Just as individual prayer centers and calms you, prayer with your spouse can give you the opportunity to refocus your marriage and turn your attention to what’s really important in your life as a family.

Many marriage preparation counseling courses (pre-Cana, for those of the Roman Catholic persuasion) talk about the benefits of praying as a couple. For example, prayer can help develop honest, humble communication. If you’re praying from your heart, you have to open yourself up to how you really feel and what you really need in your spiritual life. It may not always be pretty, but it’s honest. When you pray with a spouse, you reveal that part of yourself to him or her. Being able to be open and honest with your spouse during prayer can lead to being able to be more open and honest with your spouse in every aspect of your life. Communication is important in any relationship, after all!

Another benefit is revealing your spiritual beliefs and values to your spouse. Different people have different prayer styles based on how they were raised or in what church they worship. (A fundamental Baptist, for example, prays very differently from a Roman Catholic!) Since your values and specific beliefs impact your prayer life, praying with your spouse can share those values and beliefs with him or her. Does your husband know about your devotion to the Blessed Mother? Does your wife know you confess your sins in prayer every day? Does your spouse know why you believe what you do? Praying together opens up these issues, can create topics for discussion, and helps bring couples together through a deeper understanding of each other.

Beginning to pray together is probably one of the best things my husband and I could have done for our marriage. It’s helped us immensely (particularly in light of some of the difficulties we’ve been enduring lately), and I can feel a difference in our relationship when we haven’t prayed together in a while.

Of course, as we’re looking ahead to the future, our prayer life won’t end with couple’s prayers. My husband and I are currently looking forward to the birth of our first child, who is due in August. Already I’ve been thinking about how to incorporate our faith into the parenting of our son (and future children, if we’re blessed to have them), and I know prayer will be important there, as well. After all, with the amazing benefits I’ve seen in my marriage as a direct result of prayer, how can I think prayer with my child(ren) will have any different of a result?

Perhaps our relationship with our son will be strengthened by praying together in the same way our marriage has been strengthened by praying together. And if not, at least we’ll raise him to value prayer in his personal life.

If I learned nothing else during this past Lent, I learned that prayer doesn’t just strengthen my relationship with the Lord. It also strengthens relationships with the people you pray with regularly. And the few moments you spend with another person in prayer can teach you more about that person than any other conversation you could have.