A Conservative Perspective…

Andrew Sullivan linked to this the other day. The post if from Alex Knepper and was titled, “Gay.And Republican. And Not Confused.” It’s just one man’s opinion, but it’s a powerful piece. I hope he won’t mind me posting it in full here:

 

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I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to think of myself in terms of traits other than simply my sexual orientation. I believe that my attraction to the same sex should have no bearing to my thoughts on tax policy, trade, foreign affairs or abortion. I believe that my sexuality is merely an incidental part of my life and should not be a major factor in my decision-making.

I am aware that there is a rich tradition of intellectualism, secularism and equality within the Republican Party outside of the Religious Right. I am aware that Hillary Clinton and Dick Cheney hold the same positions on gay rights. I am aware that Bill Clinton signed into law the last major anti-gay piece of legislation passed by Congress – the so-called Defense of Marriage Act. I am self-respecting enough to know that the words of the Democrats on gay rights are no substitute for their lack of action.

I believe that the gay subculture is destructive. I am not completely sure why a person should be “proud” of his sexuality, which is not an accomplishment. I am confused by the discord between a group of people who insist that they’re just like everyone else on one hand and then on the other refuse to assimilate into mainstream society.

I am unable to relate to the faction of gay men who revolve their lives around their sexuality: their neighborhood is gay, their friends are gay, their music and movies are gay, their academic interests are gay, the stores that they frequent are gay – their lives are gay. I am not interested, though, in living my life as a gay man, but simply as a man. I envision a future in which a person’s sexual orientation will be an afterthought. I do not in any way whatsoever see the Democratic Party furthering that.

I have been discriminated against more by Democrats than by Republicans. I have been shunned and mocked by Democrats, many of whom will not accept me as a gay man unless I fit into their neatly packaged view of what a gay man is “supposed” to be. I have yet to encounter, on the other hand, a Republican who has rejected my presence in the party, shunned me on a personal level or refused to engage me on the issues.

I have come to understand on a very personal basis that the stereotypes and caricatures of the parties are no substitute for experiencing their members up close. I see that the “tolerance” and “compassion” of the left only extend as far as a person is willing to further their ideological worldview.

I am not Alex Knepper, the gay man. I am Alex Knepper, a man who just so happens to be gay. I believe that my chosen virtues and the actions that I take, not my unchosen sexual orientation, defines me as a person. I am a man who chooses to think for himself and shape his life on his own terms.

I don’t think that makes me so radical.

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Knepper touches on a lot of good points, but there is one in particular that I would like to focus on. He says:

 

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I believe that the gay subculture is destructive. I am not completely sure why a person should be “proud” of his sexuality, which is not an accomplishment. I am confused by the discord between a group of people who insist that they’re just like everyone else on one hand and then on the other refuse to assimilate into mainstream society.

I am unable to relate to the faction of gay men who revolve their lives around their sexuality: their neighborhood is gay, their friends are gay, their music and movies are gay, their academic interests are gay, the stores that they frequent are gay – their lives are gay. I am not interested, though, in living my life as a gay man, but simply as a man. I envision a future in which a person’s sexual orientation will be an afterthought.

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It has long been my belief that ‘gay culture’ is what prevents assimilation and acceptance. On hand, I understand where this subculture came from. People who are not accepted tend to band together. On the other hand, is that still necessary? I wrote about this phenomenon last year:

As previously stated, gays have in fact created a large and complicated sub-culture that they aren’t just going to abandon the day Uncle Sam allows them to marry. In many cases this sub-culture defines them more than their actual choice of partners and it is this sub-culture which sets them apart. This sub-culture is not a threat to our society, but it is a threat to the inclusion of gays and lesbians and their successful integration into society. So long as they see themselves as separate, nothing we give them will make them feel completely at home. It was no different with the immigrant populations of the first Progressive Era. Those that were unwilling to abandon their home cultures saw acceptance as much harder to attain.

I’m not suggesting gays completely suppress the cultural identity they have created. After all, I proudly celebrate St.Patrick’s Day with my friends every year even though my Irish relatives came here over 150 years ago. But I don’t only read books by Irish authors, or only go to clubs for Irish folks, or only listen to Irish music, etc. I often wonder, when I see an obviously gay person somewhere, how much of their behavior is genetic and how much is from what they see on TV.  I often wonder if it is like my friends and I who used to smoke way too much pot and act just like the cast of Dazed and Confused. We were young and impressionable and we thought that was how we were supposed to act.

As I mention above, in the first Progressive Era, the pressure was put on immigrant communities to assimilate into American culture. Immigrants would often over-compensate and fill their house with American-themed trinkets and some even have American-themed china that they displayed in their sitting rooms. For them the goal of being thought of as an American and not an immigrant was an important one. They wanted desperately to join their new country. Today I don’t know how much the gay community wants to join the ‘melting pot’. Often I think they prefer their outsider status and the little world they have created for themselves.